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Sorry I've been so inactive lately. It's been a very stressful season, and it doesn't show signs of slowing. Basically I'm always looking for work, running around for all sorts of job interviews, but with 92 million people out of work in this country, competition is tight. During my free time I spend it with Keri.
But Keri is having her own problems. I won't go into detail other than that she is suffering. Well, after two years of this suffering and seeing a series of doctors we've narrowed down what her problem is. Keri takes paxil which is an anti-anxiety drug. Well over the years she's been reducing her dosage in preparation for having a baby. She managed to get down from 20 milligrams to 10. The problem is that because of her anxiety this has caused a whole host of new problems that's seriously interfering with our relationship. Well, the doctor suspects that she has muscle spasms because she is so anxious.
That clinched it, Keri went back on 20 milligrams, and is already shown great improvement, but in so doing effectively ruined our chances for having children. Paxil can cause birth defects, and can possibly make the child born addicted as well. We have no choice, we cannot risk having children.
I can't tell you what a shot to the gut it is to know the choice of having children is taken away from you. Adoption? Uh no, not unless its a relative of mine because I have heard too many horror stories of what can go wrong, and because the child is adopted you can't undo it as easy. Foster parenting? No because what if we become attached to the child? They would take it away and boy that's a new side of hurt.
Just... really bummed. Oh well, Keri and I still get along great and we'll be very happy together even if it's only just the two of us.
But Keri is having her own problems. I won't go into detail other than that she is suffering. Well, after two years of this suffering and seeing a series of doctors we've narrowed down what her problem is. Keri takes paxil which is an anti-anxiety drug. Well over the years she's been reducing her dosage in preparation for having a baby. She managed to get down from 20 milligrams to 10. The problem is that because of her anxiety this has caused a whole host of new problems that's seriously interfering with our relationship. Well, the doctor suspects that she has muscle spasms because she is so anxious.
That clinched it, Keri went back on 20 milligrams, and is already shown great improvement, but in so doing effectively ruined our chances for having children. Paxil can cause birth defects, and can possibly make the child born addicted as well. We have no choice, we cannot risk having children.
I can't tell you what a shot to the gut it is to know the choice of having children is taken away from you. Adoption? Uh no, not unless its a relative of mine because I have heard too many horror stories of what can go wrong, and because the child is adopted you can't undo it as easy. Foster parenting? No because what if we become attached to the child? They would take it away and boy that's a new side of hurt.
Just... really bummed. Oh well, Keri and I still get along great and we'll be very happy together even if it's only just the two of us.
Hometown in Ashes
I know, I know, it's been 2.5 years since my last entry. I promised myself I wouldn't update my journal unless something significant happened...
Well my childhood town of Paradise California burned down... that's something. Feels like my mother died all over again.
I have serious nostalgia for that place, and it kills me that I don't live there anymore. But not only is it gone, but 95% of the whole town is burned to the ground.
The Good news: All my family and friends who live there survived. In fact I don't know anyone who has died. It appears as though 99.9% of the population made it out alive. Given how fast that fire moved and h
I miss you Mother.
There is no pleasant nor easy way to say this. Of all the things to lose, a beloved family member is the hardest. It's especially hard, when death comes out of nowhere and snatches people for seemingly no reason. I know some of you out there may not have particularly good relations with your parents, but I had good ones, and I loved my mother.
As of this date, the cause of death is unknown. It will probably remain that way too. I don't know what's worse. Would I feel better knowing it had been some guy or a diet that killed her? Even cancer or something would have at least have given me the chance to say good bye.
But no.
My mothe
Rise and Fall of the Third Reich Review
Well... I did it. I've finished reading Rise and fall of the Third Reich by William L. Shirer. For those who don't know, it is one of the top 10 studies on Nazi Germany (if not top 3). The book is 1,143 pages long making it 2 inches thick! By far it's the 2nd longest book I've read (the Bible being the first). I've been nursing this thing for over a year, mainly reading it when I got bored, or waiting at a lobby.
But why you may ask? Well during my college years the term "Nazi" was used waaaay too liberally.
"Turn down that music, it's after 10PM"
"Back off you Nazi."
"Would you focus on your work, you're going
Dead Grandma and out of work
Wow! Two whammies in a month's time. Unreal! The funny thing is, being out of work... isn't that big a deal to me. I mean I want to work, I need a job, but this job loss doesn't strike me as all that terrible. I won't go into details as to how I was terminated other than if I have to go before a judge as to why I should get EDD benefits... I won't be afraid or ashamed, even if my former boss is there. As it stands that school is in serious danger of going out of business, and I could be getting another job very soon.
Yay! Imagine, I'm going to get paid the same amount for delivering pizza as I am for being assaulted by children! No,
© 2014 - 2024 KuuztinR
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You can always adopt one. 